Well, now what will I do?
As most of you know, I live about a two minute walk from three of my four grandchildren. I see them every day. My life pretty much revolves around what they need and their calls to take them to the park. Really, they call me. We both have Amazon Echo devices so they can call me very easily by asking Alexa to call their Nana. And they do call me to ask me to take them to the park or to the store or any number of places. I love seeing them every day. When they were gone for a week last month, I was depressed and didn’t know what to do with myself.
And now they’re moving. Moving away from me. At least it’s in the works. We aren’t sure when but it will, most likely be this summer, before school starts so the boys can start school when the school year begins. And that’s the other thing, I homeschool one of them so that means he’ll have to go back to regular school and I don’t think he’s ready for that. If my daughter’s plan works out they will be about forty minutes away from me. I know that’s not far and I’m glad they won’t be further but that means I won’t see them every day and it will be more difficult to see them because the time will have to be planned out to fit in with their schedule and traffic, which at times could make it more like an hour to drive over to see them.
I just found out less than twenty-four hours ago and I’m still in shock.
My daughter depends on me a lot. She calls me with no notice to go watch the kids for her or to go put Maya to sleep because I’m the only one that she’ll let put her to sleep when she is being cranky. And that little girl gets so excited when I go over. She sees me and throws her head back with a huge giggle. And she cries without consolation when I leave.
And I guess the other side is that I am comfortable with having them so close. When I fall, I can call them for help. When I’m sick and need soup or medicine from the store, I can call on them. When I need a ceiling height light bulb changed, I have to call them because I can’t get on the step ladder due to my knee. And of course, my health is now failing and I really have peace of mind knowing that they are so close. Now they won’t be.
I’m just kind of falling apart at the news. I know that in the end, we’ll all learn to live with it and it will be okay but I’m really having a tough time with it. I was just at the point where I was not going to renew my driver’s license because I’m having so much trouble with my eyes and physically, I can’t always sufficiently check for traffic when I’m driving. I scare myself at times when I realize how close I came to being in an accident. And if I do that, I won’t be able to drive to see them. I won’t be able to even get groceries. My daughter is the one that takes me to get groceries because I can’t stand or walk very long so she is there to grab things for me quickly and finish my shopping if I need to go sit for a rest.
Anyway, it will also mean fewer blog posts about my adorable grandchildren and what they say and do. I guess I will have to write about other things.
If we can all get used to it and get into different routines, it will be best for my daughter and the kids. It will mean a lot of changes (she’ll be permanently separating from her partner which is a good thing) for the kids and the changes will hit all at once. They will be moving physically, not living with their dad, not seeing me every day, not being around familiar surroundings. I’m scared for them.
Well, that’s my brain and heart dump for the day. 😦
This is really disquieting news, and I can imagine what you’re going through right now. In fact, I’m a little amazed by the way you’re already thinking this through very rationally… as you explained in this post… even though it must really be an emotional blow. I understand that your daughter is moving because she has really broken with her partner. This sort of thing is beyond our control. But you have so much to deal with right now… with the problems seeing and the health problems too. Sometimes impossible situations do work out in the end, and better than we could have expected. I think your capacity for rational thinking in an extreme situation like this will see you through the rough tumble. We know the children are very attached to you, and that you are very much a part of the family, so even if there have to be adjustments, it doesn’t mean that you’ll be cut off from them. I don’t think it would be good for you to drive till you get past the operation for the cataract. But after that, you should be able to drive even better. Be strong Corina. You have many friends who do love you and wish you well. Things will get better.
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Thank you, Shimon. I think you really understand how I feel and what this will mean. Today I found out that I might be needing knee surgery, which would mean I would need a lot of help for months while I learn to walk again. So this isn’t the best time for her to move but it really is a good thing, in the long run. And you know how it is, if we wait for the right time, we end up not doing a lot of things!
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Dear Corina, I can’t tell you how much I respect you because I wouldn’t want to make you blush. But I will say that I admire your capacity for giving and understanding others, and your bravery even when times are difficult. It is a pleasure for me to be included in your circle of friends.
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Awww. You made me blush anyway!
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I’m so sorry, Corina. This is obviously weighing very heavily on you. I hope a workable solution is found for all of you since your lives are so entwined – for example, is it possible for you to also move to stay close?
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Unfortunately, I don’t have the resources to move. Rents are astronomical here in Portland and I have only Social Security which wouldn’t be enough. Crossing our fingers she’ll find something closer that will work.
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Rents are a huge problem here too. I hope a happy medium can be found for you.
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So much for you and the kids to digest at one time. I’m sorry you have to go through this. I’m sure in another month or so you will settle into a new routine–and your daughter will bring the children to you more than you expect. Still, this is a major change for you. My furtherest child is 45 minutes away, but i can’t drive there, nor to my son’s. They do make sure we get together often. I am grateful everyday they aren’t further. I moved 1500 miles away from my parents and never moved back. We are in much better position than that. You’ll be in my thoughts and prayers as you make this transition.
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We’ll figure it out. She might not be as close as she is now but we’re hopeful that a couple of possibilities will come through and she’ll be able to stay closer. It’s becoming evident to all of us that I will be needing a lot of help in the coming months if the doctor ends up doing that knee surgery so it would be great if they were closer. Cross your fingers for us!
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Oh, wow–this is really huge. I can’t imagine what it will be like for the kids and for your daughter, as well, though I understand that the impetus for the change is a search for something better. I hope that adjustments and anchors become available as all of you work through how to handle the change.
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In the end, it will be good because it has been a bad situation for a long time. I’ve written about her but have changed the name but it has been bad. We’re hoping that her dad will help her financially so she doesn’t have to move as far as Vancouver or take in a roommate. Her dad is in the position to help her and has helped the other two when they’ve needed it. He’s actually coming for a visit in a week so she’s working on how to present it to him. Anyway, cross your fingers for us. And BTW, it’s good to see you here.
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Being a grandmother myself I feel sorry for the coming changes in your life. I hope everything turns out better for you, and your grand kids.
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