On our trip to Los Angeles last week, my daughter talked about moving back there. She has been up here for a year and a half. When she left L.A., she said she just couldn’t live there any more. She’d had it. Now she wants to go back. I’m not sure she has thought it all out. She is ready to pack up and leave. I’d prefer that she waited a bit and saved some money and secure a job before she takes off. She just bought a car in November so she has to have money for the payments. Los Angeles is a very expensive place. She can count on paying anywhere from $1800 to $2500 a month for a one bedroom apartment if and when she goes. That means she has to have the income to be able to afford that!
Then there is the whole thing about her not really liking it there. She’s homesick. I know that. She was born and raised in the Los Angeles area. She had some very good reasons for leaving the area, including the fact that it upsets her and stresses her tremendously. She was miserable there most of the time.
As we reached Los Angeles, she joked about the drivers and traffic, which was one of the most stressful parts of living there for her. She looked at me and said, “See, I haven’t flipped anyone off. I haven’t cut anyone off because they did it to me. I’m just noticing it all and laughing. It’s all in the attitude, Mom!” She smiled at me and I just filed it away. After our cruise, we spent a day and a half in the Los Angeles area before coming home. Before we had been there even an hour, she was stressed and yelling at people for cutting her off. I made a mental note that the attitude she was talking about had changed. Before the cruise, her focus was on having a good time on the cruise so the traffic and rude drivers didn’t get to her. She laughed it off. However, on the way back from the cruise, she didn’t have that to look forward to anymore. She had only work ahead of her and so her attitude had changed. Everything got to her!
So yes, it’s all in the attitude.
I told her she should go to L.A. for a couple of weeks and put herself on a schedule where she has to be some place at a specific time and pretend she lives there. She should take into account her rent and her income and how much she already owes on credit cards. I have a feeling she wouldn’t do well if she went back. Not now. Maybe in another couple of years she’d be fine but not right now. Too much is still in a state of flux.
I know I would not ever go back to live there. It’s not for me. The most I can handle is a short visit.
It’s all in the attitude and how much of others’ attitude you are willing to put up with (or not).
Attitude is important, that’s for sure. It’s difficult to keep a good attitude with daily and usual stresses.
I think you gave your daughter some good advice. Perhaps being there for a few weeks will remind her of why she left.
Any word on your friend yet?
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I think you gave her some superb advice, and I hope she listens to you. I can’t imagine anyone actually wanting to move to LA, but hey, that’s just me. 🙂
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Robin, they didn’t find him. The search was called off at 3 PM yesterday.
David, I hope she listens, too. I think she’s just looking toward what is familiar to her while she is in the middle of unknown territory. Time will tell.
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Sorry about your friend Corina. I was going to say something fluffy but I guess I won’t now.
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I know, Wanda. I am sitting here reading all the notices again and any new ones that come up. It’s almost unbelievable to me that this would happen to a wonderful human who helped every person he crossed.
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Sorry about your friend, Corina.
I know what you mean about attitude.
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I’m so sorry about your friend. What a tragedy!
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I hope she knows good advice when she hears it.
(So sorry your friend hasn’t been found.)
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This is a GREAT post! Words I needed to hear myself. Thank you.
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I wonder where my kids will end up. They are still young enough to be home when not in school, but the time will come. My own choice was the East Coast but they will surely do something different. I am guessing privately that one of them (the younger?) will end up back in the Midwest.
It sounds like you are doing a good job of advising without trying to control things.
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