She had not gone with them one that Sunday. She was sick in bed. They were off to get pizza and play at that mouse pizza place. A couple of hours later, she knew they would be home soon so she got up and got dressed so she wouldn’t be in bed still sick. She knew she should make an effort to look well and get out of bed and join the family. As she washed her face, she caught sight of herself in the mirror and she paused and smiled at her reflection. She thought how lucky she was to be in this marriage and have her three beautiful children and a husband that loved her and that she loved in return. Then the moment was over and she finished getting ready just as they walked in the door.
Her husband went into the kitchen to put the leftovers in the fridge, pausing in the den to turn the TV on for the kids. Then, when he came into the room, he went into his closet and got out his duffle bag and started packing clothes. Confused and thinking maybe he had a business trip she had forgotten about she asked him where he was going.
“Away.”
“Where? Did I forget a trip?”
“No. I’m just leaving.”
She felt a chill down her spine and a thought flashed through her mind: nothing would ever be the same in her life ever again.
“What do you mean? Where are you leaving to?”
“I don’t know. I just have to get out of here.”
“Why?” The rest of the words were stuck inside her head.
“Just because. I’m tired of being here. I’m tired of being married to you.” He kept packing, putting his shaving things in the bag.
“Did I do something wrong? What did I do?” She didn’t want to cry so she said as few words as possible.
“No. I’m just tired of it. I need time and space.” He headed for the door as quickly as he could. She followed as she asked if he was going to say something to the kids. He said he was not. So she did.
“Kids, come here quickly. Come say good bye to your dad. He’s leaving now.” They came running and asked where Daddy was going.
“Away. He isn’t going to live here anymore. He wants to live alone.”
“I’m don’t want to be away from you guys. I just have to leave. I can’t stay here.”
“Give Daddy a hug and a kiss.”
They did. They were confused, more so than she was but they still said good bye and kissed their father.
Then he was gone.
Ach. Something so big still comes down to a series of small moments, which … is startlingly easy for me to forget.
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I don’t know why, but this story bothered me a lot. I can’t determine whether it is a true story, fiction or a bit of both. Either way…HE IS AN ASS!
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Yeah. I didn’t tag it fiction. Today is the anniversary of that morning which was a Sunday just like today.
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I am so sorry. Remind me not to eat at that pizza place! It obviously makes people go mad…
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“This is the way the world ends/Not with a bang, but a whimper.” Deborah’s observation is so true…life’s greatest traumas are often enacted in small moments whose hugeness is the product of years of context.
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I hope writing about it helps the healing
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It’s a moment. A small piece of time that changes everything. How sad for that family.
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Corina, I can’t *like* this even though it is so well written with its layers of everyday/gratefulness/surprise/ numbness … and ultimately sadness.
This is the second time today I’ve read about a spouse deciding to just … leave. I’m sorry, but mature adults don’t get to decide what responsibilities they’ll honour and which ones they won’t. Mature adults don’t just walk away from their children.
Grrrr.
Obviously after all these years, it still hurts. For that, I’m very sorry for you.
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