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Posts Tagged ‘surviving’

Survivor or victim?

Words are important.

When a person is abused and victimized, their life is shattered. There are lifelong effects of the abuse. The person can remain a victim in their eyes and in the eyes of others, always feeling “less than” because of the actions of another.

OR

They can survive the abuse. Surviving involves moving past the abuse and living a full life in spite of it. Surviving means being the person you were meant to be before the abuse; in fact, being a better person because of it. Surviving means taking your past and incorporating it into your life to become stronger and, often, to help others get past the victim stage and to the survival stage.

I guess that makes me a survivor. I wasn’t always comfortable with that title but now I am. I’ve picked up the pieces. I’ve learned more about abuse. I am trying to help others become aware of abuse. I’m trying to help others that have been in my position.

It’s a tough thing to write about. You have to experience it to understand but if that means you have to be abused, then I would rather you did not understand because I don’t wish abuse, of any sort, on anyone.

For more posts on abuse, click here.

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If we were having coffee today, you would notice that it’s the afternoon already! It’s really nice out…currently sunny and 71 degrees with a mild breeze where I am (greater Portland, Oregon). I actually felt like sitting outside to have my coffee and write this but although the front porch is enclosed, I won’t go out there in my pjs and I’m much too comfortable to change before going out so here I am.

Things with the home schooling went a little better at the end of this week. I brought all of his textbooks home with me and emptied out one of those portable plastic file boxes, got different color folders, and just prepped the lessons at home. It makes the actual time with Anderson go much smoother. And I can do one day’s lessons or if I have time, I can do several days ahead, even a week ahead. I also had my daughter set up the scheduler with the online academy for only a four day week. That leaves one day to do fun stuff and maybe do some kind of a learning trip, field trip. That also means that I know that I can use one specific day per week to do my stuff if I have errands to run or appointments to keep. Yay! So I would say that it is slowly working out.

We are a bit stumped with Anderson who has gotten very emotional lately. He cries and yells at us at the drop of a hat. That’s very unlike him because he has always been such an sweet, even tempered boy. I guess it’s partly turning 6 last month, but I think the bigger part of it is that he misses going to school. He misses his friends and playing and he probably feels out of control of his life. He didn’t want to leave school but he was taken out. So I spent some time last night looking for lessons/activities to help him work out his emotions and use words to tell us what is wrong instead of just yelling at us. Hopefully some of those will work. I got quite a few. I’m going to start with the most fun one tomorrow.  Crossing fingers.

I took yesterday off from blogging and from everything to celebrate my one year anniversary of my surgery. I may not have let on last year but I was very scared. I didn’t think I was going to make it out of surgery. In fact I did post about whether I should leave letters written to my children, just in case. I was a little worried that it would become a self-fulfilling thing. I did take the advice of my readers and wrote the letters and left them in my coat pocket to be found by my daughter, along with passwords and account numbers. Luckily, it was never necessary for her to find them so I have them put away. And I have had a whole year of wonderful, priceless moments with my grandchildren. I am looking forward to grandson number three who is due in four weeks (although it looks like he may arrive a bit sooner as he has “dropped” and mama is slightly dilated).

That’s about all I have today. No time for reading lately so I am still on the book I began a month ago! I seem to not even be able to focus on movies so I put on the same movies and TV shows that I’ve seen a gazillion times so it doesn’t matter if I miss something while I blog. I am managing to keep up with my A to Z Challenge posts. I don’t know yet what I will write for my “O” post for tomorrow but I suppose something will come up. I chose a difficult theme, not realizing how tough it would be. Abuse is such a deep, dark subject that it sometimes is very depressing to research my daily posts. The month is halfway done though, so yay!

One last thing…I now know how precious life is and each of our family members, no matter how old or young so I say to each of you…don’t waste time. Life is too short to waste it with worry or stagnation or anger or fear. Go out and find something to smile about…a daisy, a little bird singing, or even the neighbor’s kids playing and making noise. Enjoy it. You are lucky to be here experiencing it!

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Weekend Coffee Share is a weekly blog hop hosted by Diana at Part Time Monster. Head over there and check out all the other great posts, make a new friend, write your own post!

 

 

 

 

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