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Posts Tagged ‘recuperating’

My hair is very gray. I usually dye it about every three months. I do it myself, at home. I found a dye recently, well less than a year ago, that is much better than what I was using. It is a foam in product that is much easier to apply and to see where you have applied it to and where there is no product, which means that you don’t have those “untouched” spots that translate into dyed dark hair (deepest brown is my natural color) with a lot of gray peeking in here and there. At $10 an application, it is more than twice what I pay for the other stuff that leaves gray in but it is well worth it. Plus it leaves my hair conditioned and feeling great!

I haven’t dyed my hair since Thanksgiving. That means that it is almost completely gray all over, down to my shoulders where there is still some of the dark coloring left down to my mid-back. I toyed with the idea of letting it go completely gray but I’m not ready for that. My daughter agreed that it’s not time yet. You see, I’m 59 years old. With my gray hair I look like I am well into my 60’s. With it dyed, I look late 40’s. No brainer. I decided to dye it.

Today is my grandson’s last day of pre school. He begins kindergarten in September. There will be a little presentation of certificates and pictures. I decided that today I was taking myself back. It has been a really rough three months and I am ready to start being myself again. So I rummaged through the cupboards looking for the good dye package but didn’t find any. However, I did find the old stuff that doesn’t cover the gray well. It was after midnight so I decided I would use the yucky stuff just this one last time. Maybe I should have waited until this morning or gone out at midnight. When I washed it out and dried my hair, I could definitely see a lot of gray. It seems that I left a lot untouched just below both temples. Then I realized that I only got the surface so when it is moved slightly out of the way, all the gray is underneath!

Oh well! It will have to do. It will wash out in less than a month anyway and by then I will have gotten to the store for the better stuff. I think I’ll stock up on it.

Then came the clothes. At about 75 pounds lighter than I was in April, nothing fits. I have two pair of leggings that fit loose but well enough to wear. I also have two pair of jeans that fit kind of baggy but they don’t fall down! So that’s what I have been wearing around the house. To go out though, I had my daughter take me to the store where I found two pair of nicer pants, not leggings and not jeans, that sort of fit. They were on clearance and then half of the clearance so I paid about $16 for the two pair. I’m wearing the dark blue ones today. The tops are harder to find so I dug through boxes of clothes that never made it to the Goodwill donation center, clothes that were too small when I was so much bigger. I found a few that looked less larger than others and gave them a fresh washing. One in particular is kind of gathered with elastic at the sides, creating a waist. That one is not huge on me. It’s a size or two too big but it doesn’t look like I’m a two year old playing dress-up in my mommy’s clothes. So I’m set. I’m stepping out! It’s only to my grandson’s pre school graduation but it means a lot to me.

I’m taking myself back. I’m ready to. My mind is anyway. My body isn’t entirely ready and I will have to remember to not over do things but I’m not waiting. I’m coming out, not as the sickly shell of who I used to be, but as the person that is looking forward to so much more than doctor’s appointments and medicines and fear of the cancer recurring. I’m not thinking of that today. Today is about an ending and a beginning.

I’m ready.

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coffee2
To join in the fun of the weekend coffee share, write you post then visit Part Time Monster and enter your URL in the linky.

If we were having coffee this morning, I would welcome you into my home and hope that you wouldn’t mind my greeting you in my pjs and robe. You would come sit on the couch and I would sit in the rocker as I’ve been on the couch far too much this past week. If you’re looking for my A to Z Challenge post for today, you can find it here.

This morning I will be having only the second cup of coffee since my surgery on the 16th. My system is slowly coming around but things are quite different from what they were like before. For the most part, that’s a good thing. I’m not able to eat very much or even drink much. I seem to be full after about three bites. I have to push myself to eat little meals so I don’t get weak because if I only ate when I was hungry, I wouldn’t be here any longer.

I’m recuperating slowly. One day will be very good and I will feel like I could maybe get dressed and go down the block to check mail but then I realize that I can’t stand for more than a couple of minutes without dizziness and I still can’t get around the house without my walker. So I haven’t left the house. I’m sure I won’t for awhile although I do have a doctor’s appointment for Tuesday. The hospital staff sent me a case worker that got me hooked up with a clinic that does outreach for the under served community so they got me an appointment with a doctor to set up regular care, not post-op. I might have to put it off. It will depend on my daughter’s schedule. If she can take me, I will go but if she’s working, then I will have to postpone.

Either way, I do want to get out this week. I told my daughter that even if we just go for a drive and maybe go through drive-thru for a burger or a cup of coffee, I would like to get out. It has been raining since I got home from the hospital on Tuesday but the weather looks like it is clearing and warming so now’s the time to make a run for it.

How has your week been? I think we missed last week, although I did try to come and read as many of the coffee share posts as I could, even though I didn’t write one. I can’t seem to concentrate on much these days so I haven’t read anything lately. Have you read anything interesting? TV…anything you’ve watched? Anything you could recommend for streaming? Since I can’t concentrate very well, I’m watching more TV than normal. I don’t have regular TV, I stream using Netflix and Hulu and Amazon. So if you have something to recommend, let me know.

Your weather? How is it? Are you still having spring or did it crawl back into winter as so much of the country seems to have? Have you been able to enjoy the outdoors? That’s one thing I am looking forward to this summer. I can get outdoors more when I am in better shape. I can already tell that my body feels better when I walk and stand. Things are not as cramped as they were. There is not as much bulk to my body. It’s kind of strange when I put my hand down to my stomach and it can go down a few extra inches! It’s like half of me is gone. I can’t describe it. It’s just strange. I guess that’s what happens when they take out a huge cyst and drain 20 litres of fluid from your body. Oh, and they also took my appendix and two pair of ovaries and tubes and some of the lining of the abdomen.

I have run out of things to say but I hope you stay. Fix yourself another cup of coffee, please. Stay awhile. I’m kind of lonely these days. Tell me about you. Tell me about your world. Have you discovered any interesting blogs this week? And if you really must go, please come back next week when I can breathe a sigh of relief when A to Z Challenge is all over! It has been fun but it has also been a tough time to keep up with the challenge.

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