Posts Tagged ‘mothers and daughters’


And I’m back. Two posts in one day!

I managed to get a lot done and even took a long nap! Part of that is because my daughter is busy with her in-laws who came to town just for the afternoon. They’re gone now so we’ll see how long it takes her to call me.

I’m in the middle of steaming another small batch of tamales. Three dozen last night and another three dozen this afternoon. I used to make twelve and more dozen at a time but I just don’t have the stamina (or the kitchen space) to do that anymore. I just last about two or so hours and I’m done. I will, most likely, make more late tonight or in the morning. Tonight I have to run out and pick up a last minute photo gift for my daughter from Walgreen’s and then come home and wrap gifts and set up that tiny tree!

In other news, Maya began crawling two weeks ago. Spencer has learned to recognize his  name and is working on the abc’s. Anderson hasn’t been well. He seems to have developed migraines but I think the timing coincides with increased iPad use so that may be the culprit. I’m hoping that’s it because decreasing that activity should take care of any more headaches. He’s too young to start having migraines. He’s only seven.

My daughter’s boyfriend lost his job the week before Thanksgiving and she only works during school days so Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks mean a smaller paycheck. So you can imagine that things are stressful in that regard. I can’t help them out. They know that. However, it hasn’t stopped her from needed to borrow “just twenty dollars” or “just fifteen dollars” because it’s for one of the kids. Gotta put a stop to that too.

In any case, I basically came to prove to myself that I could return and post twice today! And here’s another favorite Christmas story.

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Today is Susie’s 22nd birthday.  Susie is my number three child and my number two daughter.  She’s also my number one special, one of a kind, golden child.

Susie was born after a series of miscarriages.  Susie was born after my OB-GYN said I would not ever be able to get pregnant again.  Susie was born after a number of complications.  Susie was born after I had to take progesterone to prevent another miscarriage (and progesterone is the hormone that makes you have morning sickness so having to add it to my body caused a lot…A. L.O.T.  of morning sickness).  Susie was born after I developed gestational diabetes.  Susie was born after she presented in a transverse breech position.  Susie was born after presenting with a placenta prevea.  Susie was born two weeks early after a scheduled Caesarean Section. 

Susie was born in spite of many complications.  Susie was born for me.  Susie was born my golden child. 

Susie is my princess.  Susie is my baby.  Susie is the sweetness in life.  Susie is my “face reality” child.  Susie is my golden child.  

I cannot tell you what Susie is like for she is indescribable.  Susie must be experienced to be appreciated. 

I can go on and on about Susie.  I won’t.

Suffice to say that I love my Susie, my flower, my sunshine, my golden child.

Happy birthday Susie.

Links to some posts about Susie:

My Girl

Digging Her Heels In

My Cell Phone Rang At 1 AM

She Made Me Cry

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Yesterday’s post about Tina’s birthday reminded me of one of the really sweet, at least in my opinion, things she has said.

Awhile back, while Tina was a junior college student, she went to England on a study abroad program with a large group from the school.  They took classes at Oxford University.  They had only three days of classes each week.  Friday’s were for field trips and on Mondays, most Mondays anyway, there were no classes.  That left a lot  of time for traveling around Europe.

In the three months she was there, she visited Ireland twice, Scotland, twice, Rome, Venice, Florence, Naples, Paris, Amsterdam, and I don’t know how many other places.  In fact when she was there was when Pope John Paul II died and her visit to Rome and Vatican City coincided with the period when there was no Pope.  If I remember correctly, the Papal Conclave reached consensus the day after Tina was in Vatican City.

Long distance to Europe is very expensive.  She had limited internet access because she had to go to cafés for that and that too was expensive.  I did get occasional emails either from her or from friends traveling with her that would relay the messages.  I spoke to her on the phone three times when she was there.  In fact, I called her within minutes of the announcement of the Pope’s death.  That’s how she heard it.  She was in Scotland visiting family friends and the word had not yet reached them, yet it had reached me in California!

When she returned, she said she had taken over 2500 pictures and she would go through them with me and we could talk about the trip because she had so much to tell me about.  She knew that I’ve always wanted to go to Europe but haven’t made it there.  (Now not so much.  I am somewhat resigned to the fact that I will probably not ever see Europe.)  That day, of sitting down to look at her pictures and have that talk, has never arrived.  I’ve caught little bits and pieces here and there but never have we sat down to look at the pictures and let her tell me about them.

One day, shortly after she returned, she said to me that one day she is going to take me to Venice which, to her, is the most beautiful city of all the places she visited.  Then she went on to say that while there, she had seen a palace that she wanted to take me to but, because there are so many steps to get up to the palace and she knows that my knee cannot handle steps, she had told her friends that were with her that she was going to take her mother there and hire men to carry me up and down the steps so that I can see the palace and do all of my sightseeing with hired men to carry me where I could not go on my own!  One of her friends was with us and she said, “That’s what I told you guys, remember?” And he nodded.

THAT’S what I think is special about Tina.  How many twenty year olds go off to explore the world with their friends and think of their mother while they are off with their friends?  How many of these twenty year olds would even admit to their friends that they were thinking about their mom and planning on taking their mom to see those places that they were seeing?  I don’t know but I don’t think the number is too big.

I am blessed to have each of my three children.  Each one of them is their own person and I have a special relationship with each one.  But this is about Tina.  I am blessed to have Tina as my daughter, for many reasons but I do remember, often, the feeling I had when she told me about the palace in Italy that she wanted to take me too and how she had put enough thought into it to tell her friends that she would need to hire someone to carry me up and down the many steps.  I remember the lump in my throat that I felt then and the tears that threatened to spill when I realized that all those miles away from me, my Tina was thinking about me.

I feel both that lump and the tears now and it’s not just about Italy; it’s about my Tina.

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Wednesday 3

This Wednesday’s 3 words are: Punch, T-shirt, and Unravel

I walked into the house and without looking at her face, I knew Karen was staring at the Slayer t-shirt I was wearing and wondering what the hell got into me. She knew I would never buy a shirt like that. And the micro mini-skirt I was wearing was totally not like anything I would ever wear. At least not in this century. I could feel her staring at me but I wasn’t going to explain. Karen wouldn’t understand. I made a beeline for my bedroom, pulled out some clothes and walked to the bathroom to shower. I had to get that clothes off of me.

I locked the bathroom door behind me and as I reached for the faucet, I heard Karen on the other side of the door. “Hey Mom. So what’s with the clothes? It’s a little early for Halloween!” I could hear her giggling.

Rolling my eyes, I couldn’t quite decide if I would acknowledge the question, let alone answer her.

“Go away. I’m taking a shower.” On came the water before Karen could even giggle.

I let the white Slayer t-shirt drop to the floor at my feet along with the micro mini skirt, the black bra and panties I had borrowed. I never wore a black bra with a white t-shirt but Sherry had only offered the black one so I had no choice. Well, I did. I could come home wearing no bra but that would be worse than having my teen daughter tease me about the clothes I was wearing.

As the steam began to fill the small bathroom, I relaxed against the cold shower tiles, closing my eyes. How did all that mess happen? It had started out so well. Just the two of us. Nancy and I were going to have a nice dinner, go to a movie, and then go for drinks. This was the one night a month we allowed ourselves to have fun. Single moms have it hard. We’re all alone. There is no one to help with the daily stress of raising a teenager. No one to help with the housework or paying bills or mowing the lawn. It is all on our shoulders. We never get to go anyplace to unwind. So Nancy and I go out once a month just to unwind. When we did, our kids were sworn to a quiet evening at home. We would spring for movie rentals, soda, and junk food and they would swear to stay home and keep out of trouble.

That didn’t happen tonight. Instead, after the movie when we both reached into our purses to turn on our phones, Nancy’s phone beeped repeatedly, letting her know she had a missed call and maybe a voice mail. She listened to the voice mail as we walked to her car. We were supposed to meet some of the others from work at Hank’s for a late, unofficial “happy hour” as we sometimes did. I heard her gasp. “Oh no! This can’t be happening!” Jumping into the car with the phone glued to her ear Nancy said we had to go straight home. There was trouble. The neighbor had called.

When we got to Nancy’s house, we couldn’t find a parking space. The street and driveway were lined with cars. Music was blasting and teenagers were all over. Nancy pulled her car onto the lawn, causing a dozen inebriated teenagers to scatter. Inside the house, we found kids packing every room, the staircase, and the kitchen. There wasn’t even standing room. While we looked for her daughter, Sherry, a very drunk young lady bumped into me and spilled her “potent punch” all over my white ruffled tuxedo shirt. Just what I needed. This was the first time I had worn the shirt and the girl didn’t even excuse herself. She just continued to bump into everything and everyone in her path.

Finally, Nancy and I restored order, got rid of most of the sober teenagers and contacted the parents of the drunken ones to come retrieve their youngsters. Sherry had been locked in her room, afraid to come out and face her friends and all the people she didn’t know. She explained that she had only invited four girls but they had each text messaged their friends and soon their friends had text messaged their friends and before they knew it, there were dozens of teenagers eager to have a good time without adults. Her daughter hadn’t been able to get rid of them. She had called the neighbor and asked for help. The neighbor had tried to break it up but his efforts had all been futile so he had called Nancy.

When everyone left, Nancy and I started to throw out the trash and straighten up. Nancy told Sherry that the clean up was her responsibility but some of the cleanup had to be started tonight. On my hands and knees, picking up some of the larger pieces of trash before running the vacuum cleaner, I snagged my skirt on a piece of broken glass. I didn’t even notice it until I kept moving and realized that my knit skirt had unraveled beyond repair. I was left in nothing more than my slip. Nancy is a full five or six sizes larger than I am but her daughter is my size. Sherry went upstairs and got me some clothes to wear home. I had two choices. Wear my punch stained tuxedo shirt and my slip or her SLAYER t-shirt and micro mini skirt!

But would my daughter believe me? No, it was better to just play deaf. I decided to let the shower run a long, long time before having to face her.

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So what do two teen girls do when they travel across the country?
Killer Trash
They found vintage shops to check out.
This one is in Fells Point in Baltimore.
They bought enough “vintage” shoes and clothes at a number of shops so that we had to go buy a suitcase to pack everything in!

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