Good morning. It has been a bit since I wrote a coffee share post or even a post. I’m not in much of a mood to write these days. Come on in and sit an maybe I can explain over a cup of coffee or tea.
Today is the last day of winter but the next ten days in our forecast here in Oregon show we are getting more of the heavy rains we have been having. Already, since October 1, we have outdone ourselves with respect to rain. We have reached our yearly total in just five and a half months. And that was last week. It has rained all week so we’re over our yearly total. It has made it a tough winter. The rain, cold, and wind have kept me indoors most of the winter. No walks out on the trails (they are all mud now). No shopping because I don’t like going in the rain and because there’s no money with which to shop. It’s depressing staying indoors. At one point, recently, I went four weeks without leaving the house. Hopefully within the next couple of weeks our rain will give us some breaks so I can get out.
Then there was the deaths of a couple of friends recently. That has me depressed, too. And I have health problems of my own. I’ve pretty much figured out that the main problem is my diabetes. No insurance equals no doctor equals no medicine. So my fasting sugar is pretty much sky high. I am constantly thirsty. Thirsty as in drinking a 22 ounce glass of water every ten minutes because I am just parched. That’s not good. That much water screws up a lot of things. Then I have problems waking up. I usually have problems sleeping now I have problems waking up. I seem to be able to sleep all day and all night. I can sleep for six to eight hours and then wake up for just a few minutes and then I can’t stay awake again. And the night sweats. When I wake up I am soaked in sweat. All symptoms of diabetes gone awry. There is a free clinic that I can apply to and if they accept me, I can get an appointment. I’m going to try to push myself to apply. I have to get some medical attention. I also have sores that won’t heal and that can also be related to the diabetes but it can also be something else. I need to get a diagnosis. And the depression itself is a symptom of the diabetes, as well. It seems that the main thing to get treated right now is the diabetes. That’s the key. If I can get that treated, then other symptoms can be sorted out.
This all sounds awful and I have not wanted to write about it because it’s so depressing but I figured I kind of owe people an explanation.
I don’t seem to be able to focus on much these days. I’m trying.
Tell me what is new with you. Give me something to concentrate on, even if only for a few minutes. I really need to pull myself up as much as I can because if I don’t, I end up falling back into the not caring about anything or anyone, not even myself. So give me something to think about. Help me pull myself up.
#WeekendCoffeeShare is a weekly blog link up hosted by Emily at Nerd In the Brain. Go check it out!