Posts Tagged ‘about me’

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If we were having coffee this week, I think I might have to try some tea. Since my surgery, I haven’t been able to enjoy coffee. First I couldn’t even think of having any then when I did, it just didn’t taste good anymore. I think I have had two good cups of coffee in over three weeks. And they were only partial cups because I couldn’t finish the rest of it. Oh well, it’s a good think I also like tea. I think I’ll try some mint or some chamomile. They both remind me of growing up. We always had mint growing in our yard, wherever we lived. When we needed or wanted mint tea, it was there for the picking, nice and fresh. I also love cold, iced mint tea in the summer time. Yum! My mom always reached for the “manzanilla” tea, which is chamomile, whenever we had anything wrong with us, headache, cramps, stomach ache, anything. The cure for all was always manzanilla.

If we were having coffee today, the day before Mother’s Day in the U.S., I would ask you about your mom. Any favorite memories? Anything funny? What about something that irks or used to irk you about your mom? I miss my mom. She lives in way, way, southern California (Hemet, CA). I haven’t seen her since last summer. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in September of 2013. From then on, I made it a point to go down there and spend a week or two every two or three months. However, because of my own health issues, I haven’t been able to go. I miss her. She has lived a long life and is a fighter. She’s 83 and has had two mastectomies, chemo, and radiation, all in the last 18 months.

If we were having coffee today, I would tell you that it’s a pretty nice day outside. At least it looks like it. I haven’t been out since Tuesday when I went to the hospital for my post-op visit. It was raining then. It seems like the nice days only come when I am confined to quarters! I’m getting stir crazy. It will probably be another couple of weeks before my abdominal muscles are strong enough to drive. And I’m still too weak to go for a walk. I’m thinking I am going to try to take a short walk with the walker today. Just a couple of houses down and back. I don’t think I’m strong enough to do much more than that without a problem. I hope the weather holds up long enough for me to do that.

Well, if we were having coffee today, I guess I would check with you and see what your schedule is. I don’t want to keep you too long. I know everyone is busy, either with work or with enjoying leisure time. I don’t want to keep you from either. What do you have going today? Tomorrow? Will you be celebrating Mother’s Day?

If you’re a mom, or a dad who has/is raising his kids without a mom, I celebrate you! I wish you a wonderful day!

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Lab Report

This is a copy/paste from my Facebook status. I’m really very tired and somewhat weak so I don’t have the energy to write much more. I’ll be back as soon as I can bounce back with more of me. Hopefully in a couple of days.

So… the lab results came back with a “borderline malignancy” which has to be classified as cancer because it can recur. The organs are gone and so is any surrounding tissue. During the surgery they took samples of surrounding organs and tissue and all of those came back as benign. The type of cancer that was found almost never recurs. Almost a full 100% of women with it will not have a recurrence and will lead a normal and full life. Mine was not the typical ovarian cancer from which most women die; it was a different type. So that’s good. There is also no need for chemo or radiation. Another good. I will have to go in for pelvic exams every three months for the coming year then it will reduce to every six months then once a year. All in all, it was a good visit. I got the staples taken out. One kind of troubling thing is that I continue to lose weight. I weighed 205 on the day of the surgery April 16). Then on the 27th I weighed 157. Yesterday, nine days later, I am down to 148. So I need to try to get my system to keep food down. I’m also feeling very tired and very weak. I guess that has a lot to do with the weight loss but also the doctor explained that all my organs are in shock as a result of the surgery and they expect my recovery to be protracted so probably a full 8 or more weeks instead of the 6 to 8 weeks. I’m also at a high risk for peritonitis because the fluid in the cyst had leaked all over the inside of my abdomen causing an inflammation throughout. So I need to keep an eye on my temperature and whether I am keeping food down or not (right now, I’m not). Anyway, thank you for all of your prayers and good wishes. It has all helped me tremendously.

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Once upon a time, I belonged to a website called Gather. One of the things I posted there was a list of 100 Things About Me, as it was a challenge. It was tough to come up with. Today, I’m posting 10 things about me, #1. I’ll do this from time to time. For those that have just begun to follow me, it will give you more info about me.

1. I was born and raised in San Jose, California.
2. I lived there until I graduated from high school then went up the road to college.
3. I received a full academic scholarship from Stanford University.
4. I graduated in 4 years plus 1 quarter, with a bachelor’s degree in Spanish Literature.
5. I got married three months after college graduation.
6. I lived in Glendale, California from 1980 until 2004.
7. I have 3 grown children, Tony, Tina, and Susie.
8. My favorite color is yellow.
9. I’m an optimist.
10. I speak English and Spanish with fluidity and French and Italian with conversational ability.

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I miss having friends. Real life friends. Friends I can exchange a hug with. Friends with which I can exchange giggles and that “knowing look”.

I remember having friends. I remember knowing a friend’s house as well as I knew my own. I remember my friends’ parents not giving a second thought to me being at their dining room table on any given night. I remember having friends where I would not feel like an intruder if I happened to find myself needing a place to share Thanksgiving or Christmas or Easter or any other day with them.

Now it’s all about Facebook and blogs and Twitter and Texting. I miss the old days.

I know I have friends in the virtual world and those friends are in no way “virtual friends”. I know that with many of my virtual friends I could show up on their doorstep for a visit without question. I could give them a phone call and know that they would be there to listen. So they really are friends. They are just scattered and not there for those physical hugs and knowing glances and giggles and maybe a cup of coffee by the fire or sharing a tub of popcorn at the movies.

I guess I’m feeling lonely today. I’ve been reading blogs and wishing that I could lend some encouragement besides a comment or a tweet and so I’ve realized that I’m pretty much all alone here. I have my daughter and grandsons a block away. But that’s it. I don’t know anyone else here and because of my “last minute” schedule status where I could be called at any time to take care of one or both of the grandsons, I don’t schedule any outings for myself and so I don’t meet anyone. But I am grateful and happy that I have the boys and my daughter near me. Imagine what it would be like if I didn’t have even them!

In any case, here’s hoping all of you have a friend to share physical space with when you need/want to!

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Since I’ve gotten back to writing in this blog, I’ve also gotten back to reading blogs. They go hand in hand. Without reading and commenting on other blogs, you won’t get much traffic on your own blog. Also, one of the reasons I enjoy blogging is to make friends and have the (virtual) conversations that I lack in daily life.

While clicking on links from lists for NaBloPoMo and other blog challenges, I’ve come across a lot of younger writers, some of them really struggling with a number of issues and some of them just questioning and exploring. I guess it’s my maternal nature kicks in at these times and I find myself taking an interest in many of them and commenting on their blogs. I try to leave encouraging, even inspiring little “pep comments” whenever I can and I leave little bits of caring and support wherever I can. That’s just who I am.

Yesterday I got a reply to one of my comments and I replied back to the blogger then she replied to me thanking me for always being supportive. Another blogger, also yesterday, thanked me for supporting her “fledgling writing attempts”.

Needless to say, it has left me with a big smile on my face. I guess being me is making a difference to a few people. I guess my attempts at encouragement and support are hitting their marks. Yay! It really makes me feel good to know this.

And so I keep reading and commenting.

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My Facebook status today:

“And from the files called “I can’t believe I did that” comes today’s story of how, sleep deprived because I’ve got insomnia, little OLD me decided to fix my morning smoothie (at 4 pm). So I put in my milk, egg, oj, cactus juice, ice, and turned on the blender. When I took a taste, there was something solid in there so I took it out of my mouth and found what I thought was a piece of white paper. I discarded the paper and took another drink and there was more paper. And more. Then it hit me…I cracked the egg in the blender jar and threw the shells in after it! So now I am fishing egg shells out of my smoothie. Aye Aye Aye!”

Yup. Some days are like this.

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If we were having coffee this mmorning (oops it’s actually afternoon!), I would want to sit out on the front porch while we enjoyed our drinks. Not because of the view or of the beautiful weather but because it is sunny right now and that’s rare for this time of year here in the furthest northern part of Oregon. It’s not particularly warm out but there is sun. We might need to take a blanket out there while we sit and chat but that’s okay. We would enjoy the sunshine and there is a slight breeze so we would also enjoy the windchimes on my porch.

It has been an interesting week so I might just ramble through our coffee time. I hope you don’t mind. Some of what happened I can’t really discuss because it’s not my situation to discuss, even though it effects me greatly. It was kind of a slow week as my body recuperates from last week’s fall. There’s no damage but the older we get, the more aches and pains we feel after a fall and the longer it takes to get over those aches and pains. So my knee, I think, is back to normal but my back is really, really, not. It seems that I can’t sit or stand or walk or anything, without it hurting. That’s not good. I can’t even sleep for more than an hour or so without waking from the pain. Oh well, maybe just another few days of this before it’s done with me? I can hope.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I have been feeling kind of paralyzed this week when it comes to creating. That’s frustrating because my special magic word for the year is Create. I’m sure it’s because of all the aches and pains but I don’t want it to become a habit. I need to do some creating. I need to. Need. Not want. Need. I think you’d understand.

If we were having coffee right now, I would tell you that I’ve been thinking a lot about this blog. I’m kind of thinking that I should have a particular kind of post for each day. Like maybe a “memoir Monday” or a “Tuesday Thoughts” or “Wordy Wednesday” (kind of my rebellion to Wordless Wednesday where I could post a very wordy piece). Can you tell I’m into alliteration? That would remind me of the week I tackled teaching alliteration and onomatopoeia to my third graders. The alliteration was easier for them to understand but they had a problem with onomatopoeia. I ended up bringing in a VHS tape (this was in the late days of VHS, around 2000) with the 60’s Batman show. They loved it and with all of the Bam! Whack! Splat!, etc., they were finally able to understand the concept and use it successfully. I was glad that my classroom was one of those portable ones located in the far reaches of the school yard where the sound of the TV didn’t get the attention of anyone but my class! And then I would tell you that I really miss teaching.

If we were sitting out in the sun having our coffee, I would have to grab my sunglasses. That would remind me of the other day when I had the boys with me. I had brought them both home in my car after taking them to McDonalds to play in the playland (which we ended up not doing because it was the Monday holiday and there was no room for any more kids or nanas in the place so we ate our food in the outer dining area and came home). There were a few breaks in the clouds which had me put on my sunglasses while I drove home. When we got home, we came inside and I forgot to switch the prescription glasses for my regular glasses. I got Anderson situated and put Spencer down for his nap and then I told Anderson that I would be right back because I needed to go get my regular glasses from the car. He said, “Yes, Nana. You go get your other glasses because I can’t see you when you wear the sunglasses!” I cracked up. He’s four but I know he meant that he couldn’t see my eyes when I had the sunglasses on. When I came back inside wearing my regular glasses, he said, “Let’s see Nana” so I looked at him and he smiled and said, “Yay! I can see you now!” I thought it was interesting that he equated not being able to see my eyes with not being able to see me. Hhm. It’s kind of true, isn’t it? If we can look into someone’s eyes, we can see who they are, regardless of who they say they are!

If we were having coffee, I would have finished my second cup by now. I would head inside for more and offer you some more, if you could stay a bit longer. If not, that would be fine. But if you could stay, I would probably keep talking about my kids. “My kids” meaning not only my own and my grandchildren but also the kids I’ve taught. They all became my kids when they walked through the door on the first day of school and I still think about them and wonder what they are up to now.

Thank you for stopping by. I hope you learned a little about me and I hope to see you again for another cup of coffee. Maybe I’ll look for something special in the coffee aisle this week so I’ll have it ready for you next week!

This is a part of #weekendcoffeeshare hosted by Parttimemonster. They are really fun to write and more fun to read. Head over to her page and click on the blue link at the end of her post for a list of other bloggers who are participating. Check throughout the weekend as we do them at whatever time we have available through the weekend so there are new ones popping up all day Saturday and Sunday. Why don’t you join us? Give it a try!

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Prompt: Take a line from a song you love or connect with. Turn that line into the title of your post.

As some of you know and others may have guess from the name of this blog, I love the song Wasted Nights And Wasted Days by the late Freddie Fender. I’ve always loved that song since I heard it in the summer of 1975. I was in college then and just fell in love with the song, the music, and the lyrics, as I had fallen in love with Before the Next Teardrop Falls earlier in the same year.

Later, when I could truly relate to the lyrics (…For you don’t belong to me, Your heart belongs to someone else, Why should I keep on loving you, When I know that you’re not true…) the song meant so much more. Then even later, when I had gotten over that heartbreak and had spent so many days and nights alone, crying, mourning the loss of my marriage, I finally realized that it had all been a waste of time. I needed to move on and put the past behind me. So I worked on leaving it all behind me and going on. I moved 500 miles away and started a new life. And although I’m still alone, and I’ve not forgotten the past, it’s all just that…the past. It’s behind me. No more wasting time. Not days, not nights.

Wasted Days and Wasted Nights
I have left for you behind
For you don’t belong to me
Your heart belongs to someone else

Why should I keep on loving you
When I know that you’re not true
And Why should I call your name
When you’re to blame for making me blue?

Don’t you remember the day
When you went away and left me
I was so lonely prayed for you only, my love

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Old But Good

Revisting an old poem I wrote some time ago and published here in 2009.

That’s Where I’m From
I was born from passion and lust
into a world of hunger and thirst

I am from the feelings kept
inside of me, always voiceless
that’s where I’m from

From pain and broken promises
from betrayal and from anguish
that’s where I’m from

From lies and drunken nights
from addiction and from mistrust
that’s where I’m from

I am from the laughter in my heart
from hope seen in my dreams
that’s where I’m from

From darkness deep inside of me
from vanished dreams and tears
that’s where I’m from

I am from the strength inside of me
strength that emerges when needed
that’s where I’m from

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If we were having coffee today, it would have to be at my house because I’m still housebound after that fall the other day. I’m healing but I’m still bruised and sore and stiff and my head still hurts. Oh well, I’ll live.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you how my week started being busy with the regular business of being a grandmother and carting kids here and there. I am still writing daily blog posts. Since November 1 I haven’t missed a day. Some days are more difficult than others to come up with something to write. I also started a new thing this year which is fun and hopefully I can get back to it in a day or two. It’s a Photo a Day challenge or more of a group to join. I’m doing the one on Facebook but there is also an Instagram component for those who care to do it that way. The idea is that each week (on Sunday) a daily photo prompt is listed and then throughout the week people take the corresponding photo (as they interpret it) and post it. It’s fun but this week has been difficult because of our weather here in Oregon and then because I couldn’t get out of the house to take a picture. Hopefully I can start participating again this coming week. The woman who started the project is from Australia, as are about half of the participants. That translates into looking at their photos this week as they are enjoying their glorious summer and we here in Oregon are in the middle of winter with our cold, wet, foggy weather. It’s nice to look at those summer pictures and dream!

If we were having coffee, I would tell you about Spencer on Monday. He’s 21 months and when I go over to pick up Anderson and take him to school or to bring him over here to play at my house, Spencer doesn’t get to go. At first, it was fine, he was happy staying home but these days, he has gotten more and more attached to me and now when I go over to get Anderson, Spencer wraps himself around my legs and wants to go. On Monday, he had a particularly hard time not going. He cried and cried and was just heartbroken that he couldn’t go. So, as I gave him one last hug, I told him “Nana will take you some place later. I’ll come get you later.” He stayed with his day, crying for me and I wished he was dressed and ready to go so I could have taken him too, even though it’s difficult for me to take both boys on my own because Spencer is a runner and he’s heavy so I can’t carry him and I can’t keep up with him when he tears off running. I thought about it all day and finally, around 6:30 I called my daughter and asked what Spencer was doing. She said he was standing on the table drinking juice. Yes, he was standing ON the table. He’s a daredevil! So I told her I was running out to Starbucks and asked if Spencer wanted to go with me. She asked him and he said yes. I stopped by to pick him up and he and Tina were waiting at the door for me. He was so happy to be going with me. It was just the two of us. I put him in his car seat and buckled him up and off we went. He was very quiet on the ride as I chatted with him. Then when he saw where we were, he started “chatter boxing”. We first drove through Jack In the Box for an order of those mini cookies they have so Spencer could have a treat and then we drove next door to Starbucks so I could get my decaf latte’. We went straight back home. He was so excited! I think it made his day to get to go some place in Nana’s car with just his Nana. I’m not sure he has ever been in the car with me alone, just the two of us, until last Monday. It made me glad that I had followed up and gone to pick him up for the short drive. I’ll have to remember to do little things like that for him more often.

If we were having coffee, I would have to cut it short. Oh, you can stay if you want. I’m just going to blog some more and put a movie on after I hobble over to the thermostat to turn it up. Hhm. What movie should we watch today? I’m thinking one of my old standbys that I turn on when I am not going to be paying full attention. Sleepless In Seattle? Practical Magic? Dirty Dancing? Serendipity? Oh well, we’ll figure it out and it’s early so there’s time for more than one movie!


If we were having coffee is part of a weekend share where the idea is to stop for a short bit each week (on Saturdays) and write a blog post as if we were having coffee with a friend. What would you chat about with that friend? I hope to make this a weekly post on this blog.

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