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Archive for the ‘just musing’ Category

When I was married (at least two lifetimes ago) my husband and I shared everything, even the food off of our plate. We gladly gave each other a bite of whatever we happened to be eating. This was just the way it was with us. We didn’t know any different. It wasn’t a big deal.

My husband’s best friend from high school got married about a month before we did. The four of us became good friends. Molly had been a law student at Stanford while I was an undergrad there so I knew her better than I knew her husband who lived on the east coast and visited only rarely during that time. Once they married, they moved to San Diego and my husband and I lived in Santa Monica. When they came to town to visit her family, we would often get together with them. I would cook dinner for all of us. When we visited them in San Diego, we would often go out to eat as Molly didn’t cook much.

One night, we were at a restaurant in Old Town San Diego. The four of us had each ordered something different. Each of us was enjoying our food and commenting on how great the food was. The three of them were talking law as they were all lawyers. I listened and participated in the conversation. By then I was no stranger to “law topics” so I chimed in with comments and questions. In the middle of it all, Louie asked Molly for a bite of her food. She refused. She made a big deal about refusing loudly and, in my opinion, rudely. All he wanted was one taste. No said Molly. No way. The conversation went on and a few minutes later, my husband reached onto my plate with his fork and took a taste. I didn’t even notice. I just went about eating my food and listening to the conversation. Then he reached over for another bite and I nudged my plate toward him for easier access. We went on talking then Louie turned to Molly and said something along the lines of “Hey! Molly you should take lessons from Corina. Look! She lets her husband eat off of her plate. I’ve been watching and he takes food from her and she doesn’t get mad at him!”

I hadn’t even noticed that he was eating off of my plate because we did it all the time. Molly and Louie just watched in. She claimed that her food was her food and if he wanted it he should order his own. He replied that all he wanted was a taste. We just watched as they argued and I think we both became a little self-conscious. We wondered if we were the ones who were wrong. Maybe we were the strange ones. Maybe we were supposed to deny each other that one little taste that we were enjoying ourselves.

I am reminded of that night’s dinner, more than thirty years ago, and I still wonder if we were the odd ones.

(This was inspired by the prompt at Manic Monday.)

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Just when I thought I had heard everything, I heard the following ignorant statements in the same twenty four hour period, from different people:

-Only women who cheat on their husbands miscarry. Therefore, if a woman miscarries, she must have been cheating on her husband.

-The rise in gay people is due to women ingesting soy products. (Of course this assumes that there is a rise and not that we just hear about it more, nowadays. It actually has no logic to it so I won’t even try to explain it.)

I don’t know if people are getting stupider or what!

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That I have nothing clever to post like STEVO and ROBIN and DAVID and others. Nothing entertaining or wise. I tried to think of something clever to post but there wasn’t anything in my mind, except this SILLY LITTLE POEM nagging me and so I had to write this post…

This is not to say

I have written

A post

That was all

About feet

And which

You possibly found

Searching

For something

Excuse me

It was brilliant

So short

And so bold

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Home?

When I left California in early August, I drove through smoke and ash and ugliness as wildfires raged all around me. It wasn’t the California I had been born in or grown to love for fifty-two years. It was a kind of bittersweet trip as I made my way north, accompanied only by Molly, my kitty cat.

As I drove back to California this weekend, I was welcomed by clear blue skies and the smell of clean, fresh air (at least north of Sacramento we have fresh air). What a difference. Here was the California I loved. I don’t regret the move. Oregon Is home now and has felt like home for some time. It holds many wonders waiting to be discovered. I look forward to those discoveries and the exploration that will lead me to them.

I guess you can’t really go home again. Once you leave that home, it is no longer home, regardless of any beauty or sentimental memories you may have of it. It was wonderful to drive through the beauty and see that it is still there and it was great to drive around and know where I was going without my GPS, but it’s not home any more. Now there is a new home, one that I will be glad to get back to when I leave California again.

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16

I treated myself to a late dinner at a local diner.  I hadn’t been out of the house in a couple of days and figured I should take myself out.  When I arrived at the restaurant, a copy of In Cold Blood in hand, all was quiet, especially for a Friday night.   I ordered my food then read a bit in my book.  Within five minutes of sitting down, the restaurant’s front doors opened and the place erupted with noise and people…teen-aged people…from the high school…after a football game…celebrating noisily!

So much for reading my book.  I thought of turning on my iPod and listening to an audio book but I didn’t have earphones in my purse so I sat and tried to ignore the noise as I tried to read a bit in my book.  Luckily the food was served in record time and I was able to concentrate on eating my fish as every table around me filled with teenagers.

As I ate, I couldn’t help overhearing one of the conversations at a table nearby.  There were four girls sitting there, probably about 16 years old.  As the waitress tried to take their order, the girls asked how much is a milkshake?  Then how much is a cappuccino; how much is a hot chocolate; are there refills; and on and on.  Then made their decisions, ordering only drinks.  I smiled to myself as I thought back to my high school days when we’d go out with a group after a football or basketball game.  We would almost always go for pizza because we could all chip in and everyone could eat.  We’d order a pitcher of soft drinks and share that.  It didn’t matter if someone had only one dollar to put in while others put in three or four dollars (okay, I was a teen ager many years ago so about 3 or 4 bucks would be a decent amount to spend on pizza and a Coke!).  We all just put in what we could and we would all eat.

I guess even though I was 16 in 1972, being 16 in 2008 isn’t much different from what it was like for me.  It was kind of reassuring to know that kids are still kids, at least in some places!

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Sometimes…

…I want to disappear from my life and appear in a far away island where no one knows me; where I have the time to just sit and enjoy the beauty of nature.

~Kihei Sunset, August, 2004, my last trip to the islands

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While I often have some negative memories associated with my dad and growing up, today in honor of Fathers’ Day, I will dwell on the fun stuff.

I learned to dance by standing on my dad’s feet and having him twirl me around the room. I also learned to enjoy a variety of music from him. He used to play everything from ballads, classical, country, marches, Mexican ranchera music, and more. I learned to like them all.

My father had only a second grade education. Then he had to go to work to help support his mother and himself. He and his mother were shunned, even by family, because he had been born as the result of an affair my grandmother had with a married man. No one helped them and so it was upon him to help his mother earn a living from the age of seven on.

Even so, he had a strong thirst for knowledge. He taught himself English and then he taught himself to read it and write it. One thing I have in common with him is a strong interest in words. We both love word games and word play. We also both enjoy learning about the history of different areas. When I was in second grade, I was fascinated with learning where places were on a map and on a globe my dad bought at a second hand store. Then I moved on to learn state capitals and the capitals of countries round the globe. My dad helped me learn the capitals. When I was in third grade, my dad picked up an old encyclopedia at a thrift shop and from that, he and I learned about the places we had seen on maps and on the globe.

I remember a little routine my dad and my uncle used to do when I was little. They had a way of carrying on a conversation that made absolutely no sense, yet it sounded like it did. One would start with an off the wall comment and the other would follow with a second off the wall comment that had nothing to do with the original. They would go on and on, adding a variety of tones and inflection in their voices. I’ve tried to do this and can do it for about a minute or so. My dad and my uncle used to be able to carry on for fifteen to twenty minutes before one or the other would finally crack up and end the whole thing. Here’s a sample:

Dad: Bread is fifty-nine cents a loaf now.

Uncle: Gary painted the house blue.

Dad: I’m changing the oil tomorrow.

Uncle: She crossed the street just as the light turned red.

Dad: And did they finally go to sleep?

Uncle: I worked twelve hours today.

Dad: The son is in the hospital.

Uncle: Oh! That was such a good movie!

Dad: San Francisco doesn’t have any alligators.

Uncle: Then she brought me a cup of coffee with no milk.

Dad: Frank quit smoking last month.

Uncle: Marilyn is a real looker.

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Modus Operandi

My life has always been lived inside the lines.

As a child, I always chose not to get into trouble. When my brothers and sisters played out in the backyard, I stayed inside with my mother, watching her cook and iron, as I kept out of the trouble my siblings were finding. I quickly found out that when I stayed out of trouble, it pleased people. That’s how I became I people pleaser. If doing something would displease someone, I wouldn’t do it. I was that way at home and at school, and everywhere I went. It became my modus operandi. Do the safe thing. Do the right thing. Do what pleases others.

In my family, I was the one that attracted positive attention at home and at school. I missed out on a lot of things fun and on a lot of growing experiences just because I had to stay within the lines. I remember when I graduated from high school. I was going around getting my year book signed. I took it to Mrs. Juarez in the Attendance Office. She looked at me and said, “You have never gotten a CUT, have you?” I said I hadn’t so she signed my book “to one that has never gotten one” and then stamped it with her CUT stamp.

When I got to college, everyone else was into drinking and smoking pot. In the dorm, they were all amazed that I had never been out drinking with friends in high school and that I had never smoked pot. Even now, at 52, I surprise people when they find out that I have never smoked pot or taken any drugs.

Sometimes I get tired of living inside the lines. I wonder what it would be like to have an adventure that took me beyond those lines, just once. What would it feel like to be the “bad girl” for a change?

One of these days, before it’s too late, I will do something outside the lines. Just once I will do something wild!

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Oy vey!

I love technology and learning about all things new, yet sometimes I wish things would stay the same.  Recently, the laptop that I thought I would make do with for another year or so, gave out.  I had to get a new one.  I shopped.  I took my son shopping with me (well, because he looks at some things that I don’t and because he knows some things that I don’t).  We found one two weeks ago and I bought it.  For the past two weeks, I have been getting my Vista OS working the way I want it to work and getting my software patched/fixed for this operating system.  Then about five days ago it started to overheat and shut itself off.  Oops!  I thought it was a fluke until it did it again.  And again.  And again.  Yesterday, my son was here and I showed him.  We went to Best Buy so he could spend his gift cards from Easter and while we were there, we looked to see what they had in the same price range.  I had given up on the Gateway.  Luckily, they had a Dell and I was within the 14 day return period.  Last night, after my son went home, I backed up my stuff and deleted things and my passwords from the browser on the Gateway and off I went to exchange it.

Luckily, everything went smoothly and I was in and out of there withing 20 minutes.  It was closing time so they were pretty efficient so they could get out of there!  I brought the Dell home and plugged it in.  I turned it on.  It powered up but the monitor didn’t come on at all.  I was baffled.  I thought there must be some setting I was missing.  Of course, I couldn’t call Best Buy because they had closed about five minutes after I walked out of there.  My daughter arrived home just then and I showed her.  She tried it.  Nothing.  We figured the monitor was dead.  So I put everything back in the boxes and brooded.  I had been offline for a couple of days and I still had not caught up on all the time I was either without a laptop or without my functionality on the new OS.  I was upset.  I couldn’t sleep all night.

This morning, we took it back.  Luckily, the technician looked at it and said, “Oh, Dell’s do that.  You have to “power cycle” it.  So he took out the battery and put it back in again and my monitor worked!  Yay!  I brought it home after my daughter’s part of the trip (breakfast and Target).  I am finally setting it up!  I think this one is a winner.  I like it.

However, in the process, I’ve lost all my bookmarks and all the blogs I read.  So I have to go through and search and get those back.  It will take some time.  So if I am not reading your blog and I normally do, I’ll get to it.  Or you can leave me a comment here and I will be able to follow your comment to your blog and bookmark it.  That would actually be faster!

By the way, I am setting up a Firefox extension called Foxmarks.  It allows you to synchronize your bookmarks so you can access them from any computer.  When you add bookmarks, you synchronize and keep it up to date.  If I have to switch out a computer or am using someone else’s computer, I can still log in to foxmarks and get my bookmarks.  Pretty nifty, huh?  Too bad I didn’t find it last night before taking the Gateway back!

Okay, I’m off to see if I can load some of my software and the patches for it.  Wish me luck!

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I wear contact lenses. Even with them I am half blind. Without them, I can’t see to walk without holding on to the wall, quite literally.

The night before last, one of my contacts fell out for no apparent reason. Sometimes they fall out because they dry out or because I rub my eye or something but this time, I don’t know why it fell out. I cleaned it and tried to put it back it. I couldn’t get it in and my eye became irritated from trying so I put the contact away and figured I would try in the morning. At least with one in I can sort of function.

On Saturday, I got up early to take my car in for an oil change. I tried putting my contact in again. It wouldn’t go in. Without that contact in, I can’t see well enough to drive so I didn’t take the car in. Instead, I waited several hours before trying again, unsuccessfully.

It is now Sunday afternoon and I still can’t get the thing back in! I’ve always had trouble getting them in and out. I’ve worn contacts since I was 20 years old. I’m 52. You’d think I would be able to do it by now. But no! Now my next course of action, should I not be able to get it back in by the morning, is to take the other one out and use my +3.50 readers. At least with those, I can see well enough to drive safely. Then when I need to read or write, I will put another pair of readers over those. For now, I am reduced to making the text size super big on my computer and to closing my contact-less eye as I try to read. Looks pretty funny to see me typing and trying to read with one eye closed.

When I win the lottery, I am getting lazik surgery for my eyes.

Yeah, right.

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