Archive for the ‘empty nest’ Category

A New Kitty Cat

My daughter got a new kitten today.  As some of you will recall, the cat she had for 16 years died about five weeks ago.  She resisted getting a new cat for awhile.  On Tuesday she told me she was ready for a new kitty and we ended up going to the animal shelter in Healdsburg where she fell in love with two different cats who also fell in love with her.  However, she wasn’t sure.  She said she’d know it when she saw it.  We went to another animal shelter, this one in Santa Rosa.  The attraction of this particular animal shelter is that although their kitten adoption fee is $125, if you find one that has been there for two weeks or more, the adoption fee is discounted by fifty percent.  She found one.  As luck would have it, this particular kitty cat had only been in the shelter for four days so no discount!  However, it is absolutely adorable.  He is three months old.  He was in with three brothers from the same litter, all of whom were surrendered by their owners.  He was one of two orange tabbies.  This one is a medium hair with the cutest round, flat face.  His name on the sheet also drew Tina’s attention…his name is Naranja (Spanish for orange).  That kitty is already loved and being spoiled.  He has fit in at her apartment quite nicely.  He’s home.

I like kitties.  I don’t have one and I usually don’t get one.  The kids get them but I don’t.  The last time I had a cat of my own was over 25 years ago, while I was pregnant with my first child.  She was a beautiful smoky grey Maine coon cat.  Her name was Misty.  One night she ran across the street and a car hit her as I watched from inside the picture window in my living room.  She was killed instantly.  I took that so hard that I have not allowed myself to get close to a pet since then.  Going to see the kitties with my daughter today, reminded me how much I love them.  There were several I would have gladly brought home with me if I could have.   Now I’m thinking that when I move out of this house in June or July, if at all possible, I will get a cat for myself.  I don’t think I will get a kitten.  I think I’d rather get an older cat, one that has already developed its personality and disposition; one that will let me hold it and love it and sleep with me.

Something to look forward to.

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Many years ago, when I was married to a man that lived at the office and was rarely home, I learned to do things for myself.  Things like shopping for and buying appliances and carpets and household furnishings.  Things like taking our children to the hospital for their tonsil and ear surgeries all by myself.  Things like making minor repairs and installing appliances.  When my ex left, we didn’t have a computer (1992) because he said it was a fad that wouldn’t catch on.  Then he left and the following week I went out and bought a home computer and a “Dummies” book for Windows 3.0.  I read scanned through it and when the kids went to bed, I opened the box and set it all up by myself.  Then I booted it up and introduced myself to computers.  I had never used one before.  I got an account with compu serve (there was no AOL at that time, or any other ISPs).  I used to set up our TVs and VCRs and telephones and anything that needed to be done.

Then my son reached his latter teens and started doing things for me.  Lots of things.  Everything.  And then I aged.  And was in an accident that left me unable to bend or kneel or stretch.  So I let others do things for me.  Lots of things.  Setting up computers and wireless networks and DVD players and cable boxes.  I hate to read directions.  So I let others do things for me.

But that won’t last for long.  My son lives two hours away and we only get to see him about three or four times a year.  Actually, I go see him a few times in between his visits here but he only comes here three or four times a year.  Some things won’t wait til he comes.  Next year I will be all alone.  My last “child” will be gone.  I will live alone.  I will have to begin to do things for myself again.

My DVD player stopped working a month ago.  The one in my bedroom.  Because of my back injuries, I spend a lot of time in my bedroom, in bed.  I leave the DVD player on so I can sleep.  But when it broke, I couldn’t do that any longer.  For the past month I have been watching movies in the extra room on the DVD player there.  I watch late at night, when I can’t sleep.  I’m hard of hearing so I have to put the volume all the way up.  The extra room where I watch is next to the neighbor’s bedroom window.  She can hear everything.  Or so she says.  So sometimes I sit in there with no volume and watch with no sound.

I needed a new DVD player.  I decided that I would get a DVD-R instead of just a player because I found one for $99 last weekend.  I waited til my check came yesterday.  I went and got it today.  I thought one of my girls would set it up for me.  My younger daughter is out of town.  My older daughter went to SF after work to a concert then she’ll spend the night with friends and go straight to work tomorrow.  I wanted to record my shows tomorrow night because I will be at the airport to pick up my younger daughter during the season premiere of Desperate Housewives and Brothers & Sisters.  So I decided to set it all up myself and record the shows I will be missing.

I did it.   I took out the old DVD player and set up the new one.  It works.  That means I did it right.  Now in the morning I will test programming it to record a show then if all is okay, I will program to record from 9 to 11 PM.

I’m  excited about it.   Not because I will get to watch my shows.  I’m excited because I proved to myself that I can do it.  I can do things for myself, like I used to.  Yes, I’m older and more feeble now but I can still do a lot of things for myself.  I can do this.  I can live alone.  I can.

I did it myself.

I will be okay by myself.

I will.

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