So many Saturdays have passed without me posting. So have the other days of the week. To say that I have been busy or exhausted would be putting it mildly. Between my daughter’s errands, babysitting, my medical appointments and my errands, I’ve been having mostly 14 to 16 hour days. Way too much. No naps. I was used to napping, even for twenty or thirty minutes but not anymore. I’m hoping to change this after the first of the year. In fact, I rescheduled all of my doctor and physical therapy appointments for next week. The only one I couldn’t reschedule was with the dietitian. I’m starting a two month program on January 4th so I need to get in for one more one-on-one visit before the CHIP (Complete Health Improvement Program) program starts.
Since I last blogged I got the nerve to say no to my daughter once and another time I let her know that she was being inconsiderate and taking advantage of me and she should come home. She had left me with the kids saying that she would be back in no more than two hours. Five hours later, she was still gone and wasn’t answering my texts so I started to just call her until she picked up.
You know how some people pick a “word of the year?” I did that a couple of years ago. I picked “create” but that was the year that I got sick, ended up in the ER, and then in surgery. That threw me off so I didn’t get to create much. Well, I think in 2018, as selfish as it may seem, my word will be “me.” I need to concentrate on me. At least try to. I know I will still be watching the kids and all that but I will also be trying to take care of me. That’s one of the reasons I agreed to enroll in the CHIP program. It’s about helping me to improve my health. I need to do that and no one is looking out for me so I need to do that.
Well, it’s almost four in the morning and I have not been to bed yet. I need to do that because I need to be up and out of the house by about nine at the latest. However, I do mean to come back after my errands and catch you up a little more and I’d like to post links to my favorite Christmas stories. In fact, here’s one of them.
Cross your fingers I get back here in a few hours. Maybe not for you, but for me. Because I really need to get back home and do stuff here. I don’t even have the tree up yet. It’s going to be a small artificial one but at least I will have one and this year that’s important to me.
Yes, make 2018 about you! I’m glad you did stand up to your daughter. There is helping out, being a good grandmother and all, but it seemed to go a little far – you need your space, time and to take care of your health.
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Yup. I definitely need me time. I haven’t read nearly as much as I would like to nor blogged. It seems like I just can’t get caught up with anything I want or need to do. So this year, I hope that changes. I’m sure going to try.
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A very good move on your part to work towards a balance between your own needs and the expectations of family. I appreciate your desire to help out. But unless we allow for our own growth and sustenance, we will not be there for our family in the near future. You’ve made a much needed correction.
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I know it’s the right thing to do. I have a feeling that my daughter won’t understand but she will have to. She has no problem telling me that she can’t handle it when I’ve needed her (the two times I had surgery). I just will need to remind her that I can’t handle all she puts on me. Thank you for the encouragement, Shimon.
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Glad to hear you will be focusing on yourself more Corina! So important, especially with health issues. Good for you!
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Thank you, Lisa. I have to fight for me before I can fight for anyone else. I need to get stronger. It’s harder and harder as we age and I’ve got a birthday in a couple of days. I’m already feeling that extra year!
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That’s a GREAT word of the year. I have frequently thought that the family situation you’re dealing with is inequitable, and that especially given your health issues, your daughter seems strangely willing to run you ragged, but since it’s none of my business, I’ve bitten my tongue. I’m unbiting it now. You can have a close relationship with your grandchildren, without being taken advantage of. I also think that your focusing on ME in the coming year signals a wonderful shift in your awareness of your own value to yourself…I know you got through a lot of the terribly hard things in the past couple of years by knowing that other people need you. To recognize that you need yourself, and that you have the agency to be there for yourself—that’s a huge leap forward.
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Thank you for always being in my corner, David. You’re one of my angels. Yeah, she needs to realize that this is her turn. I had my turn. I had my share of the single mom with the rough times. She needs to buck up and do a lot better planning of her day to day stuff so she doesn’t end up needing me to run her errands or stay with the kids while she runs the errands that she could have done earlier while she was out. I need to stick with it and limit my enabling. I think she doesn’t realize how bad my health has gotten because she sees me every day and I look a lot better than I feel. So she needs to realize that I’m 62. I’m not in my 30s like she remembers me. In any case, thank you for being in my corner!
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