Why do people abuse others? There are a lot of reasons being cited as the cause. None of them are excuses, even though they might be explanations.
Researchers say that some abusers learned the behavior from their parents. They grew up watching one parent abuse and the take the abuse. They saw it for so long that they internalized the behavior and saw it as the normal relationship between two people…abuser and victim. They grew up seeing one parent be in control (the abuser) and the other be out of control (the victim of abuse) and once grown, they decide they won’t be the one that is out of control so they become the abuser in their relationship, victimizing their partners and spouses.
People with anger management issues can also become abusers. The same for those with drinking and drug use problems. In their cases, there is something wrong with their ability to control or inhibit themselves at the brain level and they can verbally or physically strike out at others, most often their partners/spouses.
Most of us are born with the ability to empathize with others. Some aren’t. Those that are not, can easily become abusers. They can’t relate to others as people with feelings who can experience pain and hurt. Instead, they only see others as objects. Many of these people are actually psychologically ill. They may have anti-social tendencies or narcissistic personality disorder. Some are even abused themselves in one situation of their lives (maybe work) and they turn around and use those same behaviors toward their family at home. Still others get gratification from their behavior, seeing it as the way to get sex, or financial power, or just plain being in control of others.
There are lots of reasons. These are a few. Like I said, none of these explanations is an excuse, nor do I condone abuse in any of these situations. They are merely what researchers have come up with as reasons.
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