Momma over at A Momma’s View challenged her readers to pick a topic from a list she posted and write about it then post the results. As I looked over the list, a few called my name but none louder than “SASSY”. So here goes.
Not long ago I mentioned in a post that I was feeling down because I was no longer happy and I remembered being happy. Just like I remember being happy, I remember being sassy. I think that sassy was a part of happy. I lost that a long time ago but I think I am getting both happy and sassy back and I’m thinking that it’s about time!
I was once asked to describe a favorite outfit of clothing, past or present. I immediately thought of the one outfit. It was in college so it was the probably spring of 1976, my sophomore year. I wore this one outfit all the time but the one specific time that pops into my head all these years later is the day I was walking from the counseling center back to my dorm. I was taking a peer counseling class so that I could be a peer counselor in the dorm when needed. As I approached the intersection of Bowdoin and Salvatierra, traffic stopped for me to cross at the pedestrian crosswalk. It was about 11 in the morning on a beautiful day in Palo Alto, around 76 degrees. I
walked strutted across the street with traffic stopped in all directions. I was wearing a navy blue body suit with white cuffs and collar and over that a pair of white hot pants that had a skirt attached. The skirt had gold buttons with anchors embossed on them and they were fake buttons down the front of the skirt…the skirt did not button in the front. It was open in the front, giving the appearance that it had been left unbuttoned. As I strutted across the street, I was aware that more than one pair of eyes was on me and I was smiling. I smiled because I was happy and because I was feeling sassy.
Years later, after my divorce and years of feeling unloved and unwanted, I got some “attention” from an old friend who found me online. That attention brought that sass back to me for a little while. There was a song that I had always liked since the first time I heard it in the 60’s and because I always listen to oldies in the car, I heard it often during that time. It is called Do Wah Diddy Diddy, the version by Manfred Mann. Every time I heard that song I felt like it was being played just for me and it always made/makes me smile. Listen to the song and tell me if that is not a song that feels sassy. That’s what it does for me, even all these years later when that attention is no longer on me. It makes me strut. It makes me happy. It makes me sassy.
And that brings me to now. The present. I mean the present as in not the past or the future; I mean the present as in a gift. After so many years of not feeling well and not feeling happy or sassy or like myself, the person I am inside, April’s surgery has given me a gift, a present. I am starting to feel like the old me again, even with no “attention” on me. I am now feeling like I can go out in public without people staring at me. I feel good and I want to be out, not inside all the time like I used to be for years. I want to do things. I want to meet people. I want to have fun. I want to dress up. I want to be seen. I want to be happy and I want to feel sassy. I want to feel like me. I want to be me.
Sassy is calling out to me. Sassy wants me back. And I want it back.