While reading this morning’s newspaper, I came across this story which relayed an incident in a local elementary school.A third grader’s lunch tray was taken from her and thrown in the trash by a cafeteria worker when she went to pay and her account had zero in it.The cafeteria worker went on to say to the child, “That should remind your parents to pay on time.”The story further implies that throwing the lunch in the trash in the presence of the child (and other children) was common practice in Oregon school until recently when cafeteria employees were instructed notto throw the lunch away in view of the child.
When I was in middle school, my father who was only 38 years old at the time, became disabled due to a back injury sustained on the job.That led to years of financial problems for my parents who had six of their seven children still living at home.My parents had always taught us not to accept handouts from anyone.They were very proud people.They managed as best they could without going on public assistance.We sold a lot of things that we didn’t need.My sisters and I did whatever work we could to help buy our own clothes and pay for our own lunch at school.I worked in the school office every day after school and my sisters and I all babysat on weekends.
We managed to live for about a year and a half without public assistance.My father was being sent from one doctor to the next to diagnose and fix his problem.In the meantime, he only got minimal disability payments from his cannery job.Finally, my parents had no choice but to go on public assistance. At first, my father only agreed to food stamps so we could eat. Months later he agreed to Medi-Cal so we could see a doctor when we needed to. He never took anything else. He/we were entitled to AFDC and other monies but he never accepted it.
When I got to high school, my sister and I would take fifty cents each day so we could eat.With that fifty cents we ate a piece of hot buttered bread and a hot chocolate for break (around 10 am) then an apple or an orange for lunch.That’s all we could afford.During the summer between and 9th and 10th grades, we got our enrollment packet for the coming school year and in it was an application for free or reduced lunches.My mother filled it out and of course we qualified for free lunches.At the beginning of each school month, we were given enough lunch tickets to last us the month.Our tickets were red and that meant we had a free lunch.Those with reduced lunches got different colors depending on how much they had to contribute.
The lunch was fine.The problem was that at our school, those of us on free and reduced lunches had to go collect our lunch at one little window that was totally away from the lunch area.In fact, it was in a completely separate area.We were given our lunch on a little cardboard tray.Only those of us on free or reduced lunch got our lunch there so everyone knew.There was no privacy.
My sister and I got our lunches daily.Once in a while, there were things on the tray that we just didn’t like.Rather than throw them away, my sister and I decided we would just take what we would eat and leave the rest (everything was pre-wrapped) so someone else could eat it.I am lactose intolerant so each day I would leave the milk.It worked well until one day when I got a cafeteria lady instead of a student worker.I took the milk off of the tray and said I didn’t want that.Before I could say anything else, the woman looked at me and said, “Beggars can’t be choosers.”
I walked away from the lunch window with tears in my eyes.I couldn’t even eat that day.That was the last time I went to the window for my lunch.The rest of my time at school, two and a half years, I didn’t eat lunch unless I had my own money with which to buy it.I usually managed to have at least a piece of fruit and a juice for a total of twenty-five cents per day.
I would rather starve than be called a beggar.
It’s gotten better.
They’ve destigmatized it– now all students use their student ID card to pay for lunch– so you can’t tell the kids receiving the free lunch apart from the ones whose parents paid to have lunch money put on the card. When I was a kid I remember the ticket system, and how brutal people were to kids who had the tickets. Like it’s the kid’s fault that their parents struggled financially.
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well i am angry that at this late point in time any school would belittle and embarrass a child in this matter…
even when i was in elementary school one would never have known who was on free lunch as we all waited in the same line and since the lunch ladies knew who the students were,, no one said a word,, they just filed right on thru with the rest of us…
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Wow, what nerve.
I’m so upset, I can barely type.
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I was going to blog rather than comment, but just can’t.
I’ve been there. I was on the free lunch program all through grade school and (technically) high school. It sucked. Just wanted to forget the whole experience. In High School, I actually did what you did and just avoided the situation. I ate when I had my own money, which wasn’t often.
Actually, grade school sucked more than High School because I lived in the projects, and they used to ask all the time if “Any child here lives in a government housing project or other facility.” That was my cue to be (always) the only kid to raise his hand and have to walk up to the front of class to fill out some paperwork while the entire room of people watched and snickered. That really sucked. I dreaded test time- always felt sick. I could deal with the kids making fun of me on the playground, hold my own, fight back. But taking center stage in a classroom as the only “Projects Boy” was awful. I actually hate center stage to this day partly because of that.
I tried to write a comical blog post about how much it sucked, but I couldn’t pull it off. 25 years isn’t quite enough distance I guess.
Nice Post. Thank you.
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We had five kids in our family and always carried our lunches — sometimes odd things, like refried bean sandwiches — and we bought a milk, because my mom got tired of us breaking those glass thermoses. We knew there were people who had help with or free lunches, but nobody knew who and nobody really cared, I don’t think, I don’t remember anyone making a big deal.
I hate it that stuff like this happens. I hate it that all these years later it still affects someone like this — I wish people would think about it before they do stuff. Maybe that will be a silver lining of the hard times now, maybe more people will understand that it can happen to anybody.
I love it that my kid runs through his lunch money too fast because he gets extra food for people, because even though he’s never been short of lunch money yet and may not know what that feels like, he knows very well how hard it is when your blood sugar drops and you can’t think.
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I think that’s illegal. It is my understanding, at least in my state, that a school has to feed a child. It might not be what is on the menu but they legally can’t withhold food from a child. In our school district a families account has to reach a -$20 before they start handing out peanut butter sandwiches. A couple of years ago the school where my daughter attends had some computer glitch for my account. I was under the impression that i was receiving free lunches for my daughter because i never received a slip with our account balance all year. The next year when I registered her for 2nd grade I found out that we had a -$128. Not once did they stop my daughter from eating. I was irate though because the school had let it get that far out of hand. The person in charge claimed that my daughter must have never brought home the slips. At the time the principal was my neighbor and knew my daughter and he agreed it was some computer program issue. Crazy.
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Hey Corina,
Just thinking about you, wondered if you went to the write-in, and how it went?
This story’s sad, but it also sounds like that woman’s callous comment filled you with resolve. You probably became more than she would ever be that very day.
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I went to the midnight write-in, Amuirin. However, when I finally found the place, there were no parking spaces left and the lot across the street where the owner of the coffee shop said I could park, was also full. I drove around looking for a space but didn’t find any for several blocks. I am not one to walk late at night, in the rain, carrying my purse and my laptop in an unlit industrial area so I came back home to write. I wasted almost two hours driving there and looking for a space then driving home. I was very frustrated but still got in over 2600 words in my first writing session.
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I read this earlier today and was so frustrated and angry at people’s callous cruelty that I couldn’t come up with anything coherent to say.
I still can’t.
I know it’s wrong to be vindictive, but I hope karma bitch-slaps that woman so hard that her head is facing the wrong way someday.
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That’s a horrible way to treat a child! And what was done to you was so wrong.
I grew up in West Texas, and there were a lot of families there who couldn’t afford their children’s lunches, mine included. If someone had spoken like that to one of us, my mother would have taken that school apart brick by brick.
Now the kids have to have certain items for the school to get reimbursed, and you’ll hear the cashier remind them to grab a fruit, protien, or milk. No one really seems to notice.
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