This was not going to be my post today. And it was going to be on Saturday. As you can see, this will say that it was not published until Sunday. That means I missed a day for NaBloPoMo. I don’t care. I did yesterday. But not now.
As I was getting my blog post ready at 9PM Saturday, the phone rang. The Crisis Line Counselor on the other end of the line advised me that she was at the hospital with a victim that was requesting a Spanish speaking counselor. Me. So off I went. I just got home. I am still rattled. I can’t discuss the particulars of the interview or subsequent exam but I can tell you a little about the SART procedures.
The Sexual Assault Response Team includes local law enforcement, the specially trained forensic medical examiner, and the Rape Crisis Counselor. There are many rules and laws governing what each team member can and cannot do. So stuck right along the red tape are the very real feelings each team member has for the victim of the assault, which in most cases are violent. We try to maintain all of the correct procedures AND the victim’s modesty and privacy and emotional state. It’s not easy for any of the SART members. It gets pretty tough. When you throw in the need for a translator, other issues arise.
As a Rape Crisis Counselor, I have privilege, meaning that if and when the case goes to court, I cannot be called to testify and if I am, I cannot divulge anything that was said to me by the victim during the SART interview, forensic exam, or any subsequent contact. However, if I am asked to translate something for law enforcement and I comply, I lose my privilege and can be compelled to testify. It’s tricky and confusing. I know. In other words, I am there solely for the victim. If she/he asks me to help them understand something, I can do that. If the Detective asks me to translate something for him, I cannot do that.
So tonight I spent six hours in a small room holding the hand of a victim. I wanted to cry with her but that wouldn’t be professional. So I waited. I am hoping that I can unload before I sleep tonight. If I can sleep.
The forensic exam is not fun. It is much less so when the victim is a teenager who was previously a virgin and has never had a pelvic exam. Everything has to be explained to her; what the tools are and what they do and why they are needed in her case; why the doctor or nurse is doing any of a large number of procedures and why they want her to pull her own hair and collect tissue from under her fingernails. It is, hopefully, done carefully, slowly, methodically. And it is very important to let the victim know that SHE is in control. No one will do anything to her body that she doesn’t authorize. That’s why they ask her to pull her own hair from her head and from her pubic area. That’s why they ask her to collect tissue from under each of her fingernails. That’s why they have to ask her if she consents to be given an anti-biotic for sexually transmitted diseases and the morning after pill.
If you are ever privileged to help a sexual assault victim, remember to allow them to be in control of as much as possible. Do not tell them what they have to do or when. Suggest. Imply. Inform. Advise. But don’t ever take the control away from that person. It is a privilege to be there for a person when they need you in that way, as sad as it is that it is even necessary to be there in that capacity for anyone.
I thought about being a rape crisis counselor once, but I don’t know if I can do it. They’re very lucky to have you.
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Yes, very sad that it is necessary, but imagine if you and people like you weren’t there.
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Our calls are down. We’re thinking that’s good. But we are also advertising our organization and its confidentiality in case the calls are down because people aren’t reporting them. But if it is just not happening as much, I would be very happy!
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It takes a special person, Corina. I hope you get that sleep.
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I think it may be not happening as much. People talk more about this now than they used to. This acts to help in two ways. Victims can take a few more actions to protect themselves and flee from dangerous situations. Some perpetrators don’t really understand what rape is nor that it is wrong. To be sure, some fully understand and do it anyway but even those may decrease a little if those perpetrators realize how socially unacceptable it is.
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Agreed, BGG. There is also the positive effect of television in that it gets the science out … the DNA aspect and how you just can’t beat the rap if they find your DNA on the victim or hers on the perpetrator.
The local authorities here are also conducting a mandatory program in the Juvenile Detention Center and in the City and County Jails. It’s called Men of Strength and it teaches men who are already incarcerated about what rape is and that No means No. It helps them to understand that the man’s real strength is in being in control of himself, not of others. It has previously gotten some great results, numbers wise but it was thought that it was too early to assess the effect of the program. Maybe it is no longer too early.
One can only hope.
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You should be very proud of yourself and what you do. It’s a great service to humanity, Corina.
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My sister used to do this in L.A. Very rough job; I’m not sure I could take it. Kudos to you.
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I’ve have always wanted to volunteer for the suicide prevention line but haven’t yet been able to.
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I’m so glad that you’re doing this work, Corina — the women you support are lucky to have you, and as you obviously know, it’s a great honor to stand as witness for someone in those circumstances.
I think your observation about allowing control to a trauma victim is something your readers can take into everyday life … I think that just in our daily lives, we tend to see people in pain,and we intervene in ways that are bossy, or overwhelming, when what we really should do is step back and allow that person to express his or her needs. I think that too many of us tend to take over, rather than support, in painful circumstances … and we do it to make ourselves feel better, rather than the person who is in pain.
Thank you for this very thought-provoking post.
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